Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and Dr. Debi Gilmore, Co-Founders of Building A Lasting Connection®
“Whether a marriage will be happy or whether it is headed for the divorce court can be foretold from how things go during its first two years,” says the results of studies by Dr. Ted Huston.
Early warning signs of trouble include:
A Turbulant Courtship
Lots of tears and high drama
Declined affection in the first two years
A wife that’s falling “out of love.”
If you have these symptoms in your relationship – it’s probably not too late to turn things around. With the right support and efforts, couples “fall back in love” and stabilize their relationships regularly, even after big relationship hurts.
Consider the position you take in your relationship – do you emotionally support, engage and share? If not, if you criticize, defend or distance, you can contribute to the health, closeness and love in your relationship.
We all need openness and closeness. We have to take risks to share tenderly with our partner and nurture our relationship with kindness and warmth. Try doing more of these things:
look for the positive
tell your partner something you appreciate every day (no “but”‘s or “if-only”‘s allowed)
provide an emotionally safe climate for your partner to share (soft voice, kind tone, understanding and open heart)
put yourself in your partner’s shoes – have compassion for his/her stresses, and
do an act of service for your partner every day
If you have trouble doing any of these things after two weeks of conscious effort, then it may be time to get additional support. The Lasting Connection® Workshop and the Connection System® are ideal to provide help to couples for these kinds of issues. The sooner you get relationship help, the easier and faster you can be creating your life dreams together and enjoy the “in love” feeling. And, as we all know, being in love is a wonderful place to be!