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Building a Lasting Connection® Taking Off in Iran

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by Hamed Fatahian, MA, LMFT

Certified Lasting Connection® facilitator

Hello to all BLC facilitators,

I would like to provide you with some updates regarding the progress of BLC in Iran. The journey of BLC in Iran began in early 2021 during the midst of the pandemic. I conducted an online workshop for 11 couples with my Iranian colleague, Maryam, who chose BLC for her PhD thesis. This was followed by the first facilitator training, during which I trained more than 30 Iranian facilitators. This was just the beginning. Since then, we have conducted three more facilitator training sessions, resulting in a current total of over 96 trained facilitators in Iran!

As mentioned previously, during my initial trip to Iran after the pandemic last year, I organized the first in-person BLC workshop for couples in Tehran, the capital of Iran. We had 19 participating couples, and I invited more than 11 BLC-trained facilitators from over 5 cities in Iran. The experience was immensely rewarding for all involved.

This year, we held another online BLC workshop for Iranian couples around the world, conducted in Farsi. We had 28 registered couples and 15 helpers who joined us. The workshop spanned five weeks, with each session lasting three hours. Participants received the materials in advance, and for the practical exercises, we created 15 breakout groups, each led by a facilitator, with two couples collaborating on the exercises in the comfort of their own homes, guided by the facilitator. This innovative approach resulted in a wonderful experience, and we received numerous positive feedback comments. I strongly encourage you to consider implementing a similar format.

I would like to conclude by sharing another significant development. During my recent trip to Iran, we organized the inaugural gathering of BLC facilitators in Tehran. Around 30 facilitators from all over Iran (more than 7 cities) attended this meeting, during which we discussed strategies for further developing BLC in Iran.

Looking ahead, I am excited about the continued growth and development of BLC in the years to come, achieved through our collaborative efforts.

-Hamed Fatahian, MA, LMFT, Certified Lasting Connection® facilitator

https://www.hamedfatahian.com/

How to Improve Any Relationship With A.R.E.

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with Dr. Debi Gilmore, Co-creator of Building a Lasting Connection®

on the Marriaging Podcast with Jessica Fairfax

Listen on Apple
Listen on Spotify

Co-creator of Building a Lasting Connection® Dr. Debi Gilmore was a guest on the podcast “Marriaging” hosted by Jessica Fairfax to tell the story of how Building a Lasting Connection came to be! Dr. Gilmore discusses how to implement A.R.E. in our relationships (spousal, parent/child, etc) to foster secure attachment, and talks about how the Connection System guides couples in practicing A.R.E. You can listen to the episode on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

From Despair to Connection—in One Therapy Session

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By Dr. Debi Gilmore

Co-Founder of Building A Lasting Connection®

Recently a couple came to me to determine if there was anything left to fight for in their marriage. Normally, I would encourage them to commit to several sessions and gently move into some EFT work. This would allow me to help them uncover their hidden longings, disowned needs, and reveal the negative patterns that have kept them so disconnected. I knew they were blinded by their own loneliness and pain. However, they told me they were only willing to give it one session… one session? Seriously? It likely took them years to fall into this trench of darkness and pain. I silently pondered, “How can I help clear their vision just enough to help them both capture a glimpse of hope?” Aha! I knew what to do; I pulled out the Connection System® mat, unfolded it, and carefully laid it on the floor. 

Fortunately, they were willing to give it a try. I had them stand on the “Pause Place,” which is where we always begin the Connection System® session. This offers a sense of grounding, mindfulness, and synergy that prepares the way for clarity, confidence, and personal direction. I slowly guided them through the preparatory process. That was when the magic took hold. As they moved from “Slow,” to “Breathe,” and to “Touch,” the energy and emotion in my office slowly grew, expanded, and influenced the process with a sweet spirit of hope. One partner was reluctant to touch the other, but with my gentle encouragement, and as they took their time and allowed the embrace, I felt a distinct shift in power. Suddenly the mood was softer. The reluctant partner looked over at me seeking reassurance. With my smile and nod, and my knowing look of confidence, the reluctant one shifted from withdrawal to acceptance. 

The next hour, we spent slowly uncovering thoughts, feelings, fears, and new awareness that had never been discussed before. This couple appeared to be learning about each other for the first time, and on a much deeper level—in a way they had never been able to explore before. The Connection System® created a structure and level of emotional safety that allowed the couple to unlock feelings of otherwise hidden pain that up until then, had not been possible to be revealed. They were able to hear each other differently, understand each other more clearly, and found levels of compassion for themselves and their partner that otherwise would not have been possible in just one session! Through the gentle containment of the 8’ x 4’ Connection System® mat, they were able to safely discover new possibilities.

That day, this couple committed to multiple sessions of EFT, and began to slowly heal the hurts, injuries, loneliness, and barriers that prevented them from being their true selves. This new journey helped them become the lover, the sweetheart, the best friend they wanted to be for each other, but just couldn’t find the way. I will never forget this experience, and many others like this, that was made possible through the powerful tool of our Building A Lasting Connection® program and Connection System® mats. 

We would love to hear about your success stories! Please send them our way so we can share them with the world as more couples discover the magic of Building A Lasting Connection®.

A Way to Help Clients Move From Escalation, Disconnection, and Conflict Towards Safe and Secure Connection

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By Ed Peterson, LCSW, MBA

Certified Lasting Connection® Facilitator

The Lasting Connection System® WORKS with my clients! Period. I will now share, from my perspective, why this system works. As you can tell, I am a huge huge fan.

My name is Ed Peterson, LCSW, MBA and I am the co-owner of Peterson Family Therapy. My wife, Candace Peterson, LCSW, is my partner in the business and life. I’ve been a therapist for 20 years, and I am trained in Jungian Therapy, have extensive experience with addiction, and, most importantly, am an EFT Certified Therapist and a Certified Lasting Connection® Facilitator. 

From my perspective, at its most basic the Lasting Connection System® is a way to help clients move from escalation, disconnection, and conflict towards safe and secure connection, and a feeling of having their partner be an emotional safe haven. Building a Lasting Connection® helps my clients have different and new conversations, and ultimately bonding moments that create a new story for the couple and push them towards being true partners. Building a Lasting Connection® does this by helping trust and safety grow. 

There are many specific moves and interventions I use with the Lasting Connection System®, but here in this article I will share the basic and vital experiences that I use with the mat and my clients.

The first is to make sure that clients start on the PAUSE place, and linger there to start the process. This can start out being wonderful and connecting, or it can be highly triggering. This is where I step in to process with them what is happening or what just happened on the PAUSE place. This is vital and powerful.

The next vital and basic thing about the Lasting Connection System® is making sure that both the SPEAKER and the LISTENER are able to process their experience. As the SPEAKER is going around the DOTS, there is usually lots of emotion that comes up, and the same for the LISTENER. So, I love the connection system because it helps me as a therapist to have a clear plan of how to make sure the clients have true experiences in the present process or emotion. 

I could say so much more, but to sum up: I’m so grateful that I am a part of this program. I’m so grateful that I have the Lasting Connection System® as a powerful tool that makes me a better therapist. BLC has made a huge positive difference in the positive therapy progress in my clients.

Ed is also the creator of the vlog/podcast “THERAPY, EMOTION, & SEX- conversations that matter.” He interviews therapists on topics such as self-of-the-therapist, transference, spirituality, and balancing family and work.